Flashback: The Man Who Wasn't There
The election is over. After 9 very long years, the Coalition has at last, mercifully, been removed.
As many have noted, there's a general feeling of a nation breathing a sigh of relief. But while the most corrupt, inept, and malicious government in living memory is gone, the damage goes deep, and relief will very quickly need to give way to resolve, and action - on climate, ICAC, the social safety net, health, education, and even the restoration of a functional bureaucracy and state, a vast amount of work will need to be done. And the old donors haven't gone away - public pressure will need to remain high.
There's a lot of damning detail to be shared about the dirty campaigning and old-media hysteria which surrounded this election. There was a worrying, frenzied tone to it this time - the use of smear and disinfo tactics imported from the US and UK was extensive.
But covering all that is for another day. For now, here's a quick flashback to a telling episode that came fully six months before the 2019 poll. Morrison, the twice-failed tourism/ad exec (most directly responsible for the notorious Where The Bloody Hell Are You? fiasco) had free rein in the 2019 campaign, and pushing the ruins of the Abbott/Turnbull years out of shot with considerable help from commercial media, he turned it into one long photo-op, focused entirely on himself. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it later emerged that he believed he had been chosen to be Prime Minister by God.
In November of 2018, only three months into the job but apparently having plenty of free time on his hands, Morrison went on a non-election election-tour. With snarl-smiles and forceful thumbs-ups aplenty, he posed in front of a big blue bus which he dubbed "The ScoMo Express". The bus travelled up the Bruce Highway into Queensland, bearing a giant grinning photograph of Scott Morrison, data-defying promises of "a stronger economy & a secure future", & a large reproduction of the signature that the ad man had invented to match the nickname he'd given himself. Before the trip was even over, it emerged that Morrison had snuck out of the bus, along with his staff, & skipped ahead on a VIP jet. The jet & hotels were billed to the public, as a work expense.
When asked about the deception, the PM - resplendent in a baseball cap emblazoned with the pie-maker brand "Beefy's" - dodged by saying that the bus was "going where it was always going to go". Then he tried out, well, "it's a big state". But why have the bus? "Because it gets me from A to B". The reporter pressed, asking if Morrison would be travelling to Rockhampton on the bus. The reply combined lie and evasion: "Yes. The bus will be going to Rockhampton from here". But would he be on it? "I've gotta get there earlier than the bus tonight". So he'd be flying to Rockhampton? "I'll get in to Rockhampton tonight. The bus can't get me there quick enough so I've gotta fly". And then the bus will catch up with you, and you'll fly on to Townsville?
Morrison, (clearly pissed off now): "I'll be flying on to Townsville and your point is what?"
Reporter: "I'm just interested in the point of the bus if you're not on it."
Morrison (with an unconvincing laugh): "I am on it. I just got off it."
The performance was so shameless it left little room for satire.
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