The Gravy Train Express

 Flashback - article written in March, 2021. In 2018, Scott Morrison described his squabbling band of gaffe-prone grifters as a "Muppet Show". On taking the Prime Ministership, he assured breakfast television that "the curtain's come down on that Muppet Show - and an absolute new curtain has lifted up!" The unintentional implication that the nation was about to witness the launch of Scotty's All-New Muppet Show was reinforced by his next miscalculated response: Presenter: "How do you unite a bunch of Muppets?" Morrison: "Well, I'm doing exactly that in terms of my colleagues." In the two and a half years since, the volume of corruption and ineptitude has become so great as to make the compilation of a complete list near-impossible. But just to refresh, here's some of the show's notable lowlights: Robodebt theft, deaths & $1.2 billion settlement; $100 million Sports Rorts plus Gaetjen's whitewash; slashing funding to t...

Extract from The Saturday Paper article by Rick Morton: "The centrepiece of the federal government’s “Living with Covid” program is a call centre outsourced to former robo-debt collectors and staffed by workers on casual contracts with no medical experience. A cache of documents and testimony obtained by The Saturday Paper reveals the inner workings of the National Coronavirus Helpline, which is being run by private-equity owned Probe Group and its subsidiaries, on contracts worth more than $270 million." Morton's article discloses that the national helpline - listed as the first point of contact by multiple government departments - has been staffed by Probe with a small, badly-paid band of random recruits, who're tasked with triaging, despite often having only 2 hours training and no background in health care. Morton reports that the highly-stressed workers are overwhelmed by the volume, complexity and variety of calls - and that when problems arise they're tol...