The Gravy Train Express

"Thank you, Mr Speaker. This is coal! Don't be afraid, don't be scared, won't hurt you, it's coal! " That's Scott Morrison in parliament in 2017, brandishing a chunk of lacquered coal, given to him by his beloved organ-grinder, The Minerals Council. In his speech, Morrison went on to praise the "prosperity" delivered by his pet rock, and to dismiss attempts to enact science-based climate-policy as simply "pathological...coal-a-phobia". Seated behind him, Barnaby Joyce laughed with the joy of a particularly thick-headed child as he fondled the prop. One month after this performance, Lismore flooded. At that point it was the most destructive flood the town had ever had. In 2008 the Garnaut Climate Change Review examined the scientific studies outlining climate impacts on Australia, and concluded in part that without concerted action the nation would be facing longer and more intense fire seasons - by 2020. Right on time in 2019/20, an es...

A huge stretch of the Qld and NSW coast is flood-devastated. Scott Morrison gives a special address announcing... ten billion dollars for a nuclear submarine base. Deputy Barnaby declares we could never have anticipated the flooding - despite repeated, detailed warnings from all the relevant experts. Morrison's hand-picked head of the National Recovery and Resilience Agency, vintage Liberal Party seat-warmer Shane Stone, complains about how expensive it'll be to fix the flood damage - and actually says out loud that it's the fault of victims for "(living) among the gum trees". Australia continues to have no climate policy, and to expand fossil-fuel projects. This is a government laughing in the public's face. Their contempt is absolute.

When this happened a couple of days ago, I had to quadruple-check it was real. But yes - as though he were a powerless cash-strapped individual citizen, this nation's potato-headed defence minister really did start a Go Fund Me calling on the public to donate their own flood relief. Peter Dutton's department has wasted literally hundreds of billions of public dollars on military junk, and the Morrison administration has yet to spend a single cent of its dodgy $4 billion Emergency Response Fund. (The ERF was built from money syphoned out of education infrastructure, and buried in the legislative fine-print - unmentioned at its loud 2019 launch - was the proviso that it only be touched when all other emergency funds were exhausted. It was a classic PR "announceable", cobbled together on the run, and never truly intended to be used for anything but press releases.) The record $16 billion of "decisions taken but not yet announced" in last December's MYEFO u...

Just to recap, i n 2013 Joe Hockey pretended outrage at domestic car-industry subsidies (while having no issue with the multibillion dollar public assistance lavished on mining) and expended a lot of energy in parliament mocking GM Holden and daring them to leave. A few months later, the car industry packed up and left. For the next 5 years, the Coalition did everything they could to suppress clean energy and keep Australia dependent on the dirty fossil-products of the party's biggest donors. Then in the leadup to the 2019 election, Scott Morrison undertook a smirking scare campaign attacking electric vehicles, ludicrously asserting that their introduction would "end the weekend". ("Tell ya what, it's not gonna tow ya trailer, it's not gonna tow ya boat, it's not gonna get you out to your favourite camping spot with your family", he lied, merrily.) By the end of that year half the country was burning in the Black Summer megafires, and while nature, p...

  On Friday the 18th, the Morrison government rejected the recommendation of the bipartisan parliamentary committee enquiring into homelessness, that Australia should develop a 10-year national plan. The government's written response refused any new funding (including for provision of accommodation to women and children facing domestic violence), described homelessness as a matter for the states, and only agreed to fully support two of the 35 recommendations in the committee report. The following Monday, the government confirmed it would continue funding the hiring of private eyes by Services Australia, as part of its welfare "crackdown". (In 2019, with the post-election rush-of-blood-to-the-head, Services Australia was the agency created by Scott Morrison to replace and clean out the Department of Human Services.) Investigators are given the power to follow, photograph, film and bug recipients of social assistance, despite previous audits and department stats confirming ...

Extract from The Saturday Paper article by Rick Morton: "The centrepiece of the federal government’s “Living with Covid” program is a call centre outsourced to former robo-debt collectors and staffed by workers on casual contracts with no medical experience. A cache of documents and testimony obtained by The Saturday Paper reveals the inner workings of the National Coronavirus Helpline, which is being run by private-equity owned Probe Group and its subsidiaries, on contracts worth more than $270 million." Morton's article discloses that the national helpline - listed as the first point of contact by multiple government departments - has been staffed by Probe with a small, badly-paid band of random recruits, who're tasked with triaging, despite often having only 2 hours training and no background in health care. Morton reports that the highly-stressed workers are overwhelmed by the volume, complexity and variety of calls - and that when problems arise they're tol...

Scott Morrison, Saturday January 29, while clasping an unlucky koala in front of assembled cameras: "We love to throw our arms around koalas. And they love to throw their bear arms around us when we get to have a cuddle. What this is about is continuing to throw our arms around our koala population". Continuing? In the last 20 years, Koala numbers have halved in Queensland & dropped 60% in NSW. Land-clearing, drought, and fire mean koalas are currently on track for extinction by 2050. The $50 million announced by the Prime Minister yesterday - should it ever eventuate - is earmarked for monitoring, research, and habitat restoration. The latter is near-pointless without climate action, and the previous two will confirm we need climate action. There are no mysteries as to why koalas are dying. Australia's climate, farming, and "development" policies are killing them. Setting aside the accounting tricks, carbon emissions in Australia have risen 7% since 2005. S...